Wednesday, June 27, 2012


1.  Is Facebook friends with all of the Supreme Court Justices.

2.  Guarantees in writing a complete refund of all fees paid if your criminal defense case results in your receiving the death penalty.

3.  Cancelled award ceremony at the White House to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom in order to personally handle your small claims appeal.

4.  Always receives enthusiastic applause from the judge and jury when he concludes cross-examination of a witness at trial due to his amazing technique of using a Jerry Mahoney ventriloquist dummy to interrogate the witness.

5.  Gives one free accordion lesson for every new client that he is referred.

6.  Only attorney in town to effectively combine a Power Point Presentation with clog dancing to bring the jury to tears in his closing argument.

7.  If you retain him, at no extra charge you receive the director's cut DVD of Season One of Matlock.

8.  Has offices in Antwerp, Zanzibar, and Brunei, but can still accommodate an appointment to see you in conference within one hour at his Barstow office.

9.  Not only has a successful law practice, but also runs a thriving Three Card Monte booth in front of the courthouse.

10.  Gave up a promising career as a rodeo clown to devote himself to the practice of law.

Monday, June 4, 2012


An unfortunate aspect of the State's recent budget woes has been severe budget cuts to the court system.  Depending on any county's caseload and court administration, this has affected some counties more severely than others.  Los Angeles County Superior Court as the largest court system in the state has been most adversely affected, resulting in the closing of many trial departments and layoff of staff for indefinite periods of time. San Francisco has also taken similar hits.
Orange County Superior Court, and which can pride itself on being one of the best-managed courts in the State, has largely been able to avoid the same closures and layoffs that have affected Los Angeles and San Francisco.
However, and effective July 30, 2012, the regular hours of operation for the Orange County Clerk's Offices will be from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., cutting off their usual closure time of 4:30 P.M.  Obviously, it could have been worse.
When the justice system is subjected to budgetary cuts, it is usually the civil caseload that fares the worse, as Constitutional safeguards of the right to a speedy trial mean that the courts' criminal caseload will be given first priority to trial courts and process.
It is a shame that the right to a fair day in court should be delayed or denied because those elected to run this State cannot do so.